Here we are. It is now 2016. I have had change happen in many ways in my own single life. Some change has been small, yet the small changes I notice, often open out life in the most unexpected of ways. They also change things for others, who are somehow connected to you and those small changes ripple out. We are all connected; it's true.
In the last week before Christmas, I had a visit from the local council planners. Someone had made a compaint. Oh dear, this means big change! But, you know, I find myself surprisingly ready for it. I realise that I put myself in a place for the last 5 years, where I am not really supposed to be; off grid, outside the box, under the radar, on the quiet, without 'permission'; Not allowed. And now, I get it; I get why I did that. I did it, so that I could realise that I don't need to be there/here anymore. I don't have to be in a place where I'm not allowed, unwelcome. A place where my right to be, is in question and where I have to hide, and smile at people I feel inferior to, like a subserviant herd animal. No more, my smile is to precious for this to continue. My smile is for me now. No more will I give it away to those who do not earn it. I don't know them anyway, strangers and certainly not true to their own smiles, anymore than my fake smile of subserviance has been. This feels so liberating! I don't have to be nice just to be accepted. My acceptance of myself, runs alongside my acceptance of the world. If I cannot or will not accept the world, as it is, then how can I accept that I have a place here, want to have a place here; be here at all.
The whole point of the last 5 years has been many fold. Firstly, I have been in what I call 'sacred space', a place where I have been gathering myself together after a divorce and long years of that first half of life, in PTSD from early childhood trauma. I have been in 'retreat' from the world of the mundane; the profane world of ordinary living, working, and social norms. I have needed to be solitary, seperate, quiet. Somewhere that my over sensitive nature could heal from the tumultuous noise of the world, and so that I could learn where I end and others begin. That's been a huge part of the 'why' of being off-grid in sacred retreat.
2012 was also part of that reason. We all got caught up in that mind bending control misdiretion of energy, I guess. Well, there's so much to say about that, that I actually cannot be interested enough to write about it. It's dead and gone. So I mention it here briefly, in an honorable sense of honesty and openness, and now I will move on.
The other aspect, which I am arriving at now, is the big change and truth of realising that I actually want to be here. And, to do this, I now want (not need), to enter the world as myself. Here I am, willingly here. Finally, after 55 years I am here, in the upside world. The valley of the shadow of death, the dark night of the soul, and all the deaths and rebirths, the little deaths and the big ones, come to this 'second coming'. It's quite a challenge for me. I have to start from scratch, from the very beginning. Who will I be, what will I do? How will I do 'it'? All those questions!
To get to this place of being here, another aspect that I was reminded of by my greater inner being, was posed as a question to me, one that has repeated itself over the last 2 or so months. That question has proven to be profound in that it is the key to being able to actualise my arrival in the world. The question is, "Can you love the world? Just as it is? For all that it is?" This question brought me to humble and deep felt tears. My answer is, "Yes". Not just "yes I will," but "yes, I do". When I truly felt into the deep truth of my answer, I felt liberated from a place of judgement that said at an unconscious level, that the world was somehow wrong. Even though I know that there are no errors, and that everything is in the largest of views, meant to happen, even though at this physical level it seems to be horrid and difficult to love ... that, yes I do love the world and this is why since I first got here in 1960, I have been in so much pain. But finally, I have arrived full fledged (to use bird speak), with the wisdom of maturity and process underpinning my now fully deeply new, view of the world; a world that I can love, at last, for all that it is; as I can, my self.
'All that it is', means this wonderful melting pot of processes, wheels within wheels, where any soul may experience an infinite multitude of experiences, with others who are likewise seeking the full on experience of what it is to be human, on planet Earth; Our home and mother planet. The biggest Bird of all, turning her egg for the warmth and light of the Sun to bring us all to life. Wakey Wakey, Rise and Shine.
The answers come softly and quick, from that wisdom so hard won. I will be myself, I will find my way of shining, and everything will fall into place, as it will. All I need to do, is put one foot in front of another and Trust; just that.
Rise and Shine. We were born for these times.
Bring it on 2016
Friday, 8 January 2016
Tuesday, 8 September 2015
September 2015
It's time for another blog share and to continue by talking about how I see the process of compression and its place in the human journey.
The images that come are all spiralling around each other. At first it's all an undefined myst. Gradually, as the myst begins to 'fall' into and through the different and succeeding dimensions of experience, it becomes visible more and more as each droplet takes on denser and denser form, until becoming solid matter.
I'm using this as an analogy for us, human beings. The process of becoming physical beings brought us 'in', deeper and deeper, denser and denser and, like the process of the egg dividing and separating to become One whole being, we have also compressed 'in' toward a centre, if I can say it like that. So I see the dimensions as 'outer' to 'inner'; the inner most space being like a condensed space/portal/form/state, that contains everything of the journey from myst, to physical form. This is 'centre', where we remove the layers of sleep, where the ego is relieved of duty and the true self is found; where soul and spirit, feminine and masculine unite; we become One Within.
Now my phone battery is low, so I have to end this here.
Much love and respect to you all
The images that come are all spiralling around each other. At first it's all an undefined myst. Gradually, as the myst begins to 'fall' into and through the different and succeeding dimensions of experience, it becomes visible more and more as each droplet takes on denser and denser form, until becoming solid matter.
I'm using this as an analogy for us, human beings. The process of becoming physical beings brought us 'in', deeper and deeper, denser and denser and, like the process of the egg dividing and separating to become One whole being, we have also compressed 'in' toward a centre, if I can say it like that. So I see the dimensions as 'outer' to 'inner'; the inner most space being like a condensed space/portal/form/state, that contains everything of the journey from myst, to physical form. This is 'centre', where we remove the layers of sleep, where the ego is relieved of duty and the true self is found; where soul and spirit, feminine and masculine unite; we become One Within.
Now my phone battery is low, so I have to end this here.
Much love and respect to you all
Wednesday, 12 August 2015
Division, Separation, Compression - One becomes Many, becomes One
Some years ago now, I was deep in a thoughtful process. I was as usual seeing and listening to the natural processes of Nature. What I saw and heard was all about the process of conception, through to birth. It made profound sense of the layered process of life itself.
At conception there is one egg (usually just one), and this is entered by a sperm, which mirrors the process of the masculine entering the feminine. This is itself another process that is reflected through the layers of the universal journey.
Once the Union of egg and sperm is complete, creation sparks the process of division. The single cell divides into multiple other cells, each carrying the knowledge of the being that will come into existence here in this physical form. From this process of division comes One whole physical being, made up of trillions of cells; intelligent cells, cells that carry deeply encoded information about the whole being. The body as alchemical vessel, connected to the vast unconscious of a universal being within human form. As I fully feel the implications of this, I can see and touch and know with all my senses, the miracle that is the human body; the Human Being.
So, from the creative spark of the Union of the masculine and feminine principles, a One whole physical form is created, which embodies the whole; more than the sum of its parts, of a Soul and Spirit, that animates the form and carries the template ( the codes ), of everything for the incarnational experience to unfold. The One becomes many, becomes One.
This process is reflected through the many faceted layers of our multi dimensional experience as Human Beings. The One Being, then divides, separates and is fragmented at an internal psychological level. Society, and our current realities, cultural programming, also aid and facilitate this process. We become divided within, disconnected internally, and fragmented usually through the process of trauma. Our identification is at the same time, singular. Unaware of the internal divide, we believe we are only the ego identity called Jack or Jill. We sense though, somewhere deep within that we are looking for something; understanding, knowledge that is lost in the amnesia that we all are afflicted with. At least, I felt this deep inner quest, so perhaps you did/do too. The point seems to be that something from deep within, is seeking to be remembered, or found, and so the search for the True Self is taken up. From a state of inner division we seek Union with the Self; and as a natural consequence, the masculine and feminine principles with each of us, unite and a whole and unified being; fully Human Being is Reborn, fully incarnate.
It would be easy to reflect on the whole process of becoming fully human, in all its layers, but it's late and I have dreams to dream; work to accomplish in other dimensions. So I will leave you go contemplate for yourself, the wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles ... that You Are.
With much Love and Respect for all that we are, dream well and goodnight.
At conception there is one egg (usually just one), and this is entered by a sperm, which mirrors the process of the masculine entering the feminine. This is itself another process that is reflected through the layers of the universal journey.
Once the Union of egg and sperm is complete, creation sparks the process of division. The single cell divides into multiple other cells, each carrying the knowledge of the being that will come into existence here in this physical form. From this process of division comes One whole physical being, made up of trillions of cells; intelligent cells, cells that carry deeply encoded information about the whole being. The body as alchemical vessel, connected to the vast unconscious of a universal being within human form. As I fully feel the implications of this, I can see and touch and know with all my senses, the miracle that is the human body; the Human Being.
So, from the creative spark of the Union of the masculine and feminine principles, a One whole physical form is created, which embodies the whole; more than the sum of its parts, of a Soul and Spirit, that animates the form and carries the template ( the codes ), of everything for the incarnational experience to unfold. The One becomes many, becomes One.
This process is reflected through the many faceted layers of our multi dimensional experience as Human Beings. The One Being, then divides, separates and is fragmented at an internal psychological level. Society, and our current realities, cultural programming, also aid and facilitate this process. We become divided within, disconnected internally, and fragmented usually through the process of trauma. Our identification is at the same time, singular. Unaware of the internal divide, we believe we are only the ego identity called Jack or Jill. We sense though, somewhere deep within that we are looking for something; understanding, knowledge that is lost in the amnesia that we all are afflicted with. At least, I felt this deep inner quest, so perhaps you did/do too. The point seems to be that something from deep within, is seeking to be remembered, or found, and so the search for the True Self is taken up. From a state of inner division we seek Union with the Self; and as a natural consequence, the masculine and feminine principles with each of us, unite and a whole and unified being; fully Human Being is Reborn, fully incarnate.
It would be easy to reflect on the whole process of becoming fully human, in all its layers, but it's late and I have dreams to dream; work to accomplish in other dimensions. So I will leave you go contemplate for yourself, the wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles ... that You Are.
With much Love and Respect for all that we are, dream well and goodnight.
Thursday, 6 August 2015
6th August 2015 - Micro/Macro (inner/outer - above/below)
These words, (micro/macro, above/below, inner/outer), what do they mean?! Can I convey my understanding? I will try ...
One is small and one large (micro and macro respectively). Yet, more than this. The below expresses itself within the same processes and parameters as the above, reflecting the same patterns and conditions. We inhabit the below. Look at our world. See how it operates, notice the patterns and the conditions that play out here. Who are the characters; the players that determine the laws, the rules?Objectively, can you see the modus operandi? The divide and rule and conquer? Are you aware of the layers and oppositional forces that appear to be fighting among themselves but in reality are forging toward an agreed outcome? Are you aware that the light is equal to (no different than) the dark? As Above, so Below is the same as, 'as below so above'. Think about it. There is a stark reality in these words.
Above as distinct from Below, yet somehow the same, a mirror with an apparently different image, in reflection of the differing levels or vibrational frequencies between above and below. In other words they are the same but they look different, and from below above seems better; a bit like the grass looking greener. But you know, shit is still shit.
This is the collectively experienced reality. We are all in it together. Here we all are. So, what about 'as Within so Without'? Now we get into the realms of possibility. This is an exciting space to contemplate! Here is where all that shit gets cleaned up 😉.
We, each of us, are a micro of that macro also. This means a lot of things. Mostly it means understanding or inner standing the concept of personal responsibility. But before this concept can sink in, perhaps it is appropriate to include some other layers of this Truth.
What does it mean to be micro of macro? Well, as I see it we are each a universe, within this one; wheels within a larger wheel. We each uniquely see the world based on our inner perceptions and perspectives. I don't experience this world the way you do. Beautiful, paradox; this is the same for all of us! We all share this multitude of realities, but we all do so from unique perspectives. From our unique perspectives, we all share a common way of operating, based on 'As within, so Without'. This is connected to the Human Being; the Human Race, that we are each One of; each One in. As One Within. Human Beings operate through the mechanism of projection; projection of what is within, to without. This is the same for all of Humanity.
So, if we reconsider the concept of personal responsibility, with that Knowledge at the leading edge of our thinking, then Bingo! All sorts of dots get connected. For instance, if I bring back all my projections, realising they are mine and take responsibility for what I project onto the world stage, my relationships, etc., then, would I manifest a Monsanto with the rest of you? Would we really need parenting by ruling elements that we project that role onto? These are large things to consider!
If individually we own the dark and light within and take responsibility for our creations, then the collective weight would lean elsewhere than it 'currently' does; the flow of reality would be very different. Below would inform Above. Now there's a thought!
Here's to you
One is small and one large (micro and macro respectively). Yet, more than this. The below expresses itself within the same processes and parameters as the above, reflecting the same patterns and conditions. We inhabit the below. Look at our world. See how it operates, notice the patterns and the conditions that play out here. Who are the characters; the players that determine the laws, the rules?Objectively, can you see the modus operandi? The divide and rule and conquer? Are you aware of the layers and oppositional forces that appear to be fighting among themselves but in reality are forging toward an agreed outcome? Are you aware that the light is equal to (no different than) the dark? As Above, so Below is the same as, 'as below so above'. Think about it. There is a stark reality in these words.
Above as distinct from Below, yet somehow the same, a mirror with an apparently different image, in reflection of the differing levels or vibrational frequencies between above and below. In other words they are the same but they look different, and from below above seems better; a bit like the grass looking greener. But you know, shit is still shit.
This is the collectively experienced reality. We are all in it together. Here we all are. So, what about 'as Within so Without'? Now we get into the realms of possibility. This is an exciting space to contemplate! Here is where all that shit gets cleaned up 😉.
We, each of us, are a micro of that macro also. This means a lot of things. Mostly it means understanding or inner standing the concept of personal responsibility. But before this concept can sink in, perhaps it is appropriate to include some other layers of this Truth.
What does it mean to be micro of macro? Well, as I see it we are each a universe, within this one; wheels within a larger wheel. We each uniquely see the world based on our inner perceptions and perspectives. I don't experience this world the way you do. Beautiful, paradox; this is the same for all of us! We all share this multitude of realities, but we all do so from unique perspectives. From our unique perspectives, we all share a common way of operating, based on 'As within, so Without'. This is connected to the Human Being; the Human Race, that we are each One of; each One in. As One Within. Human Beings operate through the mechanism of projection; projection of what is within, to without. This is the same for all of Humanity.
So, if we reconsider the concept of personal responsibility, with that Knowledge at the leading edge of our thinking, then Bingo! All sorts of dots get connected. For instance, if I bring back all my projections, realising they are mine and take responsibility for what I project onto the world stage, my relationships, etc., then, would I manifest a Monsanto with the rest of you? Would we really need parenting by ruling elements that we project that role onto? These are large things to consider!
If individually we own the dark and light within and take responsibility for our creations, then the collective weight would lean elsewhere than it 'currently' does; the flow of reality would be very different. Below would inform Above. Now there's a thought!
Here's to you
Monday, 27 July 2015
Star date 27 July 2015
What an odd time we are experiencing. I'm sitting in a cafe using he Internet. I have my laptop which I've just spent the last hour trying to work with, but lately I am experiencing all sorts of trouble connecting, downloading, etc., and today right now I have been unable to delete my google account. It loops into a page that tells me there was a problem and to try again, which leads into the same loop. Frustrating to say the least. Just one in a whole list of incidences that I've experienced recently. I wonder, is this trying to tell me something? Maybe so. My patience with technology is certainly wearing thin.
Ok, that said, here I am expressing myself through this medium. I'll keep this brief, since for various reasons which I could not bear to go into, I cannot type this on said laptop and so am using single clumsy digits on this small and barely adequate phone keyboard.
There is beautiful piano music playing. It is very calming. My tension is melting ... Gradually. And it's almost time to leave.
Lately my deepest awareness has been with the internal adversary that we all have. I call it Gretchen of Ind, but there are other names for it. I've heard others refer to it as the watiko virus, the archons, the whisperers. But essentially these are all the same thing. Refer to the blog 'the Ruiner' who has written eloquently on it. My advice is, be aware of your thoughts and attachments. Are they truly all your own?
😉
Until another day
Much love
Ok, that said, here I am expressing myself through this medium. I'll keep this brief, since for various reasons which I could not bear to go into, I cannot type this on said laptop and so am using single clumsy digits on this small and barely adequate phone keyboard.
There is beautiful piano music playing. It is very calming. My tension is melting ... Gradually. And it's almost time to leave.
Lately my deepest awareness has been with the internal adversary that we all have. I call it Gretchen of Ind, but there are other names for it. I've heard others refer to it as the watiko virus, the archons, the whisperers. But essentially these are all the same thing. Refer to the blog 'the Ruiner' who has written eloquently on it. My advice is, be aware of your thoughts and attachments. Are they truly all your own?
😉
Until another day
Much love
Thursday, 23 July 2015
Birds of a Feather
Stick together. Integrate. Be all to end all. Turn everything in the nest upside down, inside out, back to front. Then leap. Head for the open door of the cage that contains you. Remember you have wings. Do not worry. Trust your wings, trust the air, the sky, the trees, rooted deep in the loamy Earth Mother. Rise and Shine.
There will be turbulence. Expect that. There will be flak, swiftly with ease and grace, dodge the flak. It is nothing compared to the Being that you truly are.
Expect the unexpected. Be ready for anything. Aware of everything. Know where you are in time and space, and remember that NOTHING is what it seems to be. We all float on the Ocean of our own unconscious. Each a Uni verse. Each here. Now. To Be, that is the answer.
Remember.
Do what you came here to do.
Be the point, the creation in motion of your own greater deeper design.
Imagine. Fuel the image with your deepest knowing feelings. This is how we create. And in the inner marriage, Be One within. Let no man pull that asunder. Each is One.
Welcome to my blog.
There will be turbulence. Expect that. There will be flak, swiftly with ease and grace, dodge the flak. It is nothing compared to the Being that you truly are.
Expect the unexpected. Be ready for anything. Aware of everything. Know where you are in time and space, and remember that NOTHING is what it seems to be. We all float on the Ocean of our own unconscious. Each a Uni verse. Each here. Now. To Be, that is the answer.
Remember.
Do what you came here to do.
Be the point, the creation in motion of your own greater deeper design.
Imagine. Fuel the image with your deepest knowing feelings. This is how we create. And in the inner marriage, Be One within. Let no man pull that asunder. Each is One.
Welcome to my blog.
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